Entry 22

The Bahamas was wonderful I wish we would have never come home. Everything seemed so perfect in that island paradise and now I feel like my world is spinning out of controll. When we were away and it was just him and I, I forgot about being sick and just lived every moment to the fullest. Nothing could break us, we were on Cloud 9. And then we land back in Michigan and I get the heart renching news that you are moving back to West Branch to go to school. It's been days since I've had this news and sometimes I feel like we can do this and other times I feel like I am drowning to breathe.

You are my shinning light after so long, nothing makes sense when you aren't here. I just wish I had an idea of how often we are going to be able to see each other. My fear is, your going to forget about me and find someone better. And no matter how many times you tell me that isn't going to happen, it's still in the back of my head.

Entry 21

Thank you for comng back into my life. It's been years the summer before we started highschool was the last time we were even remotely this close. We have both changed so much as people in those years, but it's easy to see we are the same two kids who had that amazing summer together. Talking to you last night for over an hour was something I needed so badly I can't even explain it to you, you took me back to one of the happiest times of my life. Before I got sick and before you got cancer. When all that matter was sneaking out of the house and making out in the woods. I wish I was that care free spirit now, the girl who would do anything when it came to you, speed bumps included. Instead we sit miles apart talking over the computer still not saying a million and one things on our minds. The what ifs in my head are endless. I can't explain to you how you made me feel then or how you still make me feel now because it would just be wrong. There are complications boyfriends, wives and beautiful children. Just know I am happy your here and loosing you again would break my heart.